Here’s a thought;
We all love drama. We are all busybodies who want to know all the tragic, shocking, interesting, embarrassing, romantic, whatever… things about people.
We want to know all these things because they make us feel. More.
Drama makes us feel more. It makes us feel alive.
Ok, stop, wait. Let’s backtrack.
Don’t you agree that human beings in general love drama? No? How about looking at the film industry and seeing how many of us are addicted to those ridiculously nonsensical Korean dramas?
Oh, let’s not even talk about the Korean dramas, we like any kind of drama. And in fact, now we’ve gone further down the abyss to the realm of reality shows. Real life drama, how could we not love it?
We definitely love real life drama, alright. Don’t we all love gossiping about that old classmate of ours who had an affair with her fiancé's best man right before the wedding? Or the one whose husband turned out to be gay? Or the bride who looks like she’s got a bun in the oven for at least a couple of months now?
Yep, we do. We love drama. End of story. Don’t argue.
Ok, now let’s talk about why we love drama. As I said, it makes us feel more alive. How?
By stimulating our affectations. Our feelings.
What do we feel when we talk about dramatic things happening to people? What do we feel when dramatic things happen in movies? What do we feel when dramatic things happen to us?
Shock? Hate? Disgust? Embarrassment? Pity? Empathy? Love? Wonder? Anger? Heartache?
Whatever. The point is that it makes us feel. Because otherwise, we would only have one feeling, and that would be ‘bored’.
There’s this saying, I don’t remember exactly how it goes, but it says something like you can only feel happy if you’ve known sadness, because if you’ve never felt sad, you wouldn’t know that you were happy, because you’d have no basis for comparison, or something like that.
I guess I agree with that. Because I’ve known great sadness. I feel very greatly. I love greatly, and I fall greatly, and I hurt greatly. And because of that, I’ve also known great happiness and great love.
I don’t think we could truly be alive, if we held ourselves back from feeling completely and totally with our whole body, heart, and soul, but at the same time, I’m not sure I like the way we’re handling our emotions.
See, I like drama. In books, in movies, in art. But not in my life.
I do not like drama in my life.
I have had drama in my life, and it’s enough to last me a lifetime. I don’t want any more, thank you very much.
Ok, maybe I should rephrase that.
I do not want any more negative drama in my life, but I guess positive drama would be fine.
For the record, I don’t really think there’s such a thing as positive drama, but for the sake of discussion, what I mean by positive drama is just exciting things that are happening in your life, not devastating dramatic stuff.
I don’t want to emulate Korean dramas and have some tragic accident happen to the person I love, and then he loses his memory and forget about me, but I think he’s dead, even though I never saw his body (now, tell me, if you really loved someone, would you believe he was dead if you never saw the body?), and then almost marry someone else, only to suddenly bump into the person I loved and discover that he never really died after all, and then having a whole lot of stupid reasons why we can’t be together, which doesn’t really make sense, and drag on for OMG I forgot how many dozens of episodes, only to finally be together after all when he’s lost his bloody sight!
Stupid, Korean dramas.
Sorry, I digress.
Anyway, the point is, I’m not interested in all that. And besides, if you realize, they never ever shows what happens after they get together. In every love story, when the boy gets the girl, etc, that’s the end of the story. They never ever show the happy ever after part of the story.
But in real life, after we’ve found our soulmate, our story still continues. And honestly, if it’s still drama after that then I think you’ve got a serious problem. Drama kings and queens.
So anyway, I had my excitement when finding my soulmate, and the excitement of the chase, and the surrender, etc. No drama, but very exciting excitement.
And now we’ve gotten to the point of having a really stable relationship, hardly any arguments, but of course we have disagreements, which we solve with a lot of listening to each other and without screaming, yelling, and throwing things at each other.
But is our relationship boring? Hah!!
You have no idea how wonderful everyday is being with Lone! You have no idea how alive I feel everyday, how eager I am to see him, talk to him, be with him, laugh with him! It’s a joy! It’s plain and simple happiness! And I feel. So much.
I feel so much love, so much happiness, so much joy, so much gratefulness, so much excitement, so much, so much, so much! And I don’t have to have sadness in order to feel this happiness. I know how sadness feels already, I know how frustration, anger, loneliness, uncertainty, and all that feels, I don’t need to feel it again.
I don’t need to experience the pain of breaking up, just so I can experience the euphoria of making up again. I think couples that have to do this all the time have a serious problem.
I love the stability of our relationship, and I love that we never get bored of each other.
I love that we never take each other for granted, even for the little things, especially for the little things. I love that he will say thank you for some small thing I did for him that I don’t even remember doing, because I took it for granted that I should do it. But he didn’t take it for granted.
I love it that I always think how lucky I am to get someone as wonderful as he is, and yet he’s thinking the same thing about me.
I love how we can talk for hours about anything, and how although I know him so well, I’m amazed at how much more I learn about him when we talk.
I love how sometimes when we’re doing mundane things, like reading together without even talking, and I’ll suddenly feel waves of love and gratitude emanating out of me because I have someone who I can share the simple pleasure of reading and companionship with.
I love that I can be who I really am with him, and not worry that he will not accept me for who I really am. I love that I can show him the deepest, darkest, scariest part of me, and he’s not afraid to face it head-on. I love that the deepest, darkest, scariest part of me doesn’t show its face much at all anymore, because I’m so busy laughing and being happy with him.
Um, did I digress again? LOL!
Anyway, the point is, we’ve got an amazing, DRAMA-FREE, excitement-filled relationship. And we keep it drama-free. And excitement-filled. =)
We’ve got other ways to feed our hunger for drama. Like watching those stupid Korean dramas.
LOL! Hey, I enjoy them just as much as the next person! And trust me, seeing all their unnecessary, and honestly really stupid, pain on screen makes me even more grateful that I don’t have a stupid director making stupid nonsense dramatic stories out of my love life.
So sure, I understand the human need for drama. But I think we’ve got to understand that need, and I think we should find constructive ways to feed our desire to feel strong emotions. I think drama should be kept out of your love-life and your work-life. Especially out of your love-life.
Lone and I have got a great drama-free relationship, and I know there are many others with wonderful drama-free relationships. I worry nowadays that we’re being brainwashed into thinking that more drama is better. It’s not.
We really don’t need drama in our lives.
In our books, our movies, our art. Fine. But not in our lives.
Oh, and I love Lone so much because he makes me feel alive! =)
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