I have had a very stressful week this week. I won't go into details, but generally, it's because of two reasons:
- I'm having some trouble understanding some new knowledge and information.
- I've been having some communication problems with certain people who seem to insist on misunderstanding me.
Usually, in the first case, I'd ask for clarifications so that I may understand better, but it seems that the more questions I ask, the more confused I get because I keep getting different answers from different sources. I'm feeling quite frustrated and very, very, confused. =(
In the second case, I normally just ignore people who deliberately misunderstand me on purpose just so they'd have a reason to fight, but in this case I can't, because I don't want to offend the *other* people who are friends of these people.
So yeah, I've been having a really hard week, and I haven't been sleeping well because of worrying about these problems and how to solve them.
I've always been a solitary, independent thinker. I'm not so independent when it comes to physical stuff, for example, traveling alone or getting official biz done, but when it comes to ideas/opinions/learning/planning...etc, *thinking* stuff, I like being solitary.
This is why I enjoy online studying so much, I'm completely in control, can choose how, when, and what I study, how long to focus on particular topics, etc.
This is also why I prefer to learn Chinese on my own rather than have a teacher teach me. And also why I stopped having piano lessons and bought books and went online to find guides that can help me learn on my own instead.
Bottom line is: I don't like people telling me what to do.
That may not be the best thing to be, but nevertheless, it is quite true. That's not to say that I don't listen to advice or guidance especially when I recognize the good in them, but giving me advice is one thing, ordering me around is another.
I'm just really upset now, I need to take a break and relax a little.
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